What do I do if I give up my religious beliefs?

This seems to be a very important question for those who begin to question their religious beliefs - or even abandon them all together.

For those who have been life-long atheists (such as the grey-haired author of this page who has never felt the need for any god or any religion - no more than he feels a need to believe in Santa Claus) the question seems strange. After all, most of us manage to enjoy good, responsible and happy lives without ever worrying about it.

Many people coming from a religious background are not happy with the word "atheist" - they find it too hard and too negative. Well, to be honest, it is both - we atheists do not believe in any god - nor do those who call themselves "agnostics" or "humanists".

Atheists are defined as a negative (after all, if "theists" did not exist, there could be no a-theists!) and this makes some people feel uncomfortable - they prefer to define themselves as something positive - hence they prefer "humanist."

Those who have been life-long atheists are quite happy with this - though we see it as playing with words rather than having any real meaning. After all, rejection of gods, religions and superstitions is common to all atheists, agnostics and humanists.

An alternative to religion?

We completely understand why some people need a religion but the question is really "why do some ex-religious people feel that they need an alternative to religion?"

We can understand why some ex-religious people look for "alternative rules" - after all, they come from a tradition where the "rules" are laid down by a god in some holy book interpreted by holy men.

It is hard for them to accept an answer which says "you must draw up and internalise your own set of moral and ethical values." This sounds like anarchy when one comes from the religious tradition - after all, if everyone makes up their own rules, surely there will be chaos?

The opposite is the case!

Religion encourages people not to create and internalise their own set of rules - they must come from the outside and be dictated by a god. This is extremely dangerous because it leads to the assumption that if there is no god then there is no set of rules!

The author was a primary school teacher for many years and before morning break on the first day of Autumn term, with a new class, he did two things - he learned the names of all the pupils in the class and he got the class to create its own set of "rules". The amazing thing is that it always worked! With very little guidance a class of 8/9/10/11 year olds could create a set of rules that any moral philosopher would be proud of.

If it is so easy for children to get it right, why is it difficult for those who come from a religious background? Like the class, we live in a society where, to get on with one another, to enjoy a good and happy life and to be helpful to one another, we need a set of agreed rules. There is nothing hard or original about that!

What do I do for a social life if I free myself from religion?

The social life of many religious people revolves around their place of worship and their religious friends. This now goes out of the window. So what next?

Well, your real friends, religious or not, certainly won't desert you simply because you become an atheist/humanist. If they do, you have to ask if they were really "friends" in the first place.

Now you are free of religion, the whole world opens up to you. You have interests (we hope!), you have hobbies, you enjoy the company of others and you like to learn something new ever day. There are millions of opportunities for doing this - from amateur dramatics to sport to whatever. Get out there - meet people, have fun!

What do I do if I am accused of apostasy and threats are made against me?

Well, for a start, it shows how inhumane some religious people become when they put their god above the happiness of a fellow human being. Their threats of violence should reinforce you in your desire to abandon religion for the disgraceful nonsense it has become when this sort of thing happens.

Practical advice:

• Contact a group like ours - we have experience of such things
• Check the web for individuals and groups of people who feel like you - there are groups who have abandoned every religion - including Christianity, Islam, Judaism etc - they will understand what you are going through and they can help you from their personal experience.
• If you feel in serious danger, you must contact the police - this is not something that should be treated lightly - people who threaten violence are criminals. The police will be able to put you in contact with local organisations that can help you and they will take whatever action is necessary against those who threaten violence.

The experience of others

Please click here for the experiences of a fundamentalist evangelical Christian who is now a confirmed atheist. It is interesting, and understandable, how angry they become because of the number of years of their lives that have been "stolen" by Christianity.

Please click here for the experiences of a Jewish believer who is now a confirmed atheist.

What is the meaning of life without a god and with no hope of an afterlife?

Duhh!

You are a social animal and you have only one life - so enjoy it and help others to enjoy it. Be happy, be interested in the world, learn something new every day, have fun, be responsible - and help others along the way.

It's that simple, it's blindingly obvious - it's not rocket science! Get a grip - dump gods and all the mumbo-jumbo that surrounds them - get a life - have fun!